I’m thinking about power dynamics and abuse, both on a public/national level (especially given the recent devastations of ICE and the Epstein files) and a private/domestic level, such as within a marriage or other personal relationship.
I think the other side of the theory is that abusers know _exactly_ what it feels like to be on the victim side, and they abuse to keep themselves safe. If they see the world as a dichotomy where you either have the power or you're a victim, their (subconscious, perhaps) fear of being a victim would drive them to abuse others.
Interesting point, thank you! I will think about it. It’s a strange thing to me how some abused people make it their mission to break the cycle—not wanting that pain to happen to anyone else—while others just repeat it and inflict the same pain on others.
I'd guess it has to do with whether the abused person received compassion or was shown that there is another path. Those who didn't know there was a choice to make, whose narrow worldview was never challenged, have no incentive to deviate from what they've always known.
Yes, I think that’s a good analysis. Also, of course, each case is unique—I know two people who were shown literally zero kindness in their childhoods and went on to become champions of kindness themselves—but I can’t help looking for patterns and trying to understand these dynamics of cruelty.
Your model about bullies not seeing harm really clicks, expanding on your previous debugging of power dynamics.
I think the other side of the theory is that abusers know _exactly_ what it feels like to be on the victim side, and they abuse to keep themselves safe. If they see the world as a dichotomy where you either have the power or you're a victim, their (subconscious, perhaps) fear of being a victim would drive them to abuse others.
Interesting point, thank you! I will think about it. It’s a strange thing to me how some abused people make it their mission to break the cycle—not wanting that pain to happen to anyone else—while others just repeat it and inflict the same pain on others.
I'd guess it has to do with whether the abused person received compassion or was shown that there is another path. Those who didn't know there was a choice to make, whose narrow worldview was never challenged, have no incentive to deviate from what they've always known.
Yes, I think that’s a good analysis. Also, of course, each case is unique—I know two people who were shown literally zero kindness in their childhoods and went on to become champions of kindness themselves—but I can’t help looking for patterns and trying to understand these dynamics of cruelty.