One morning recently, I managed to get up before everyone else (thanks to my dog Papaya waking me up—and to nobody waking me up during the night!). In the quiet, I could actually hear myself think, as I fixed myself some coffee and oatmeal.
I heard a song floating through my mind, probably sparked by some trivial connection. It was a song called “The Little Things” by Irish-folk group The Gothard sisters, in which they sing the famous Gandhi quote:
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
That led me to wondering what change I most want, that I’m trying to be.
I want a lot of changes in the world, of course, but very few of them are things I am currently equipped to actively address. I deeply admire people who are working hard to rescue children and others in need, to help animals and the planet, to effect political and social progress, to solve diseases and AI-related conundrums, and so much more. I love that they are being the change in those areas.
But as for me, I wondered, what change am I trying to be, in my life path as it is right now? (What would be your own answer, for your life right now?)
The answer that came up for me was mental health.
Of all the changes I wish to see in the world, that’s the one that feels most crucial for me personally to live.
I don’t have any kind of mental health-related job; but in my own life and personal growth, I’m working hard to develop and spread better mental health.
I’m learning to treat myself, my children, and others kindly—and to support our diverse nervous systems.
I’m grateful for that clarity about my values and my path!
In keeping with that self-chosen mission, I want to share a list I made recently in my journal, of things that help me regulate my nervous system—that is, to calm down and re-ground my mind. Making this list was an act of support to my own mental health!
Things that help me get calm and grounded:
solitude (above all)—in which I’m not being perceived and my thoughts are not being interrupted by other people talking to me
sitting or walking outside, especially in sunshine, extra-especially in woods
taking a shower or especially a bath, extra-especially by candlelight
being around animals, especially snuggling with my dogs (and sometimes cats)
writing, especially a poem, then journaling, then projects & blog posts
listening to audiobooks and music in my headphones
knitting
reading
organizing my books and notebooks
“puttering”—gently restoring order to my living space
resting—especially lying facedown
“nesting”—making myself a bed-nest (with my satchel and something to eat & drink) and staying in it for a while
“book-making”—printing out stuff I’ve written and cutting it to size with scissors, and attaching it into my current notebook/s where relevant
eating spicy chips—I think the spiciness and crunchiness help me come back to awareness of my body.
drinking cold water/beverage or hot tea
voice memo-ing or talking to my close friend/s
(sometimes) scrolling Instagram, especially reading funny posts (such as by @iamthirtyaf)
(sometimes) hanging out with my husband (when we’re not stressed!)
(sometimes) exercise—such as stretching, walking, dance-cardio, and calisthenics—oh and especially swimming, when I get to
What are some things that help you regulate your nervous system? Your list may involve other sorts of things like:
smelling incense or perfume
going for a drive
drawing
meditating
being loud and silly (that one applies to my husband and kids…unfortunately for my own quiet-loving nervous system!)
I’d love to hear what works for you!
River Roundup
Section posts from the past week
🌀Divergence Deeps
When setting up this latest new section, I accidentally sent out this post to everyone, instead of restricting it to section-only. I aim to fix that for future posts. If you do want to receive notifications of new posts for this section (and/or other sections), go to your subscriptions management page and select which sections you want to receive.
🪷Serenity Splashes
verse-reflection on relating to anxiety
You’re clinging, nerves wringing, to an illusion of control. You can let go, little ego. Take my hand. We're here and whole.
a sonnet about mindfulness and healing
Ego is a puppet of tomorrow, chasing phantom safety without end, trying to own what it can only borrow, not realizing its power is pretend. A creature who is real lives in the moment, navigating through experience, allowing feelings, so the mind stays open to take in facts and choose next acts with sense. It's not poor ego's fault it's so deluded. It's like a child in the wild alone: it needs a bigger mind to help and soothe it-- one who's real and now, not puppet-sewn. For those who grew in fear instead of care now must learn to care for fear still there.
You don't have to bully yourself anymore. It's not your fault life is so hard. Being kind to yourself, as though to a friend, will serve you better by far.
The hungry mouth of suffering needs compassion on compassion on compassion.