🌊 Understanding the Other Side

It turns out we are not so different, after all

Twin 1 in recent communications with the “Toasties” (Cinna [Cinnamon Toast] and Milky [Milk Toast]), plus Winston

“Listen, young Ravenclaw,” the old wizard said, “hear me well, for I shall speak to you a truth. Most ill-doers do not think of themselves as evil; indeed, most conceive themselves the heroes of the stories they tell.”

— Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Eliezer Yudkowsky

I recently had a burst of understanding that has quite altered my attitude toward people whose beliefs differ dramatically from mine.

The specific context was about some neighbors (who are also kin, this being West Virginia, after all) whose beliefs have seemed incomprehensibly strange to me until now. The labels “right-wing,” “conspiracy theorists,” and most of all, “anti-vaxxers” seemed to apply to them, but I couldn’t grasp what they could be actually thinking (and just simply asking them seemed like not a great idea for several strong reasons).

Then one night recently, it occurred to me to ask an AI chatbot to help me understand—and, almost instantly, it did. Despite the issues and conflict going on these days around AI, this is one area where I feel its use is a powerful tool for good! I will paste my question and the answer I received below, because it was so helpful to me and may be for someone else too; but first, here are my own takeaways and reflections.

In short: those people are trying to do what they truly think is the right thing. They’re trying to protect their children from what they see as evil and harm.

That is something I can understand!! Just because we come from different paths—and disagree about what is actually harm—doesn’t mean we don’t want the same basic things!

This new perspective enabled me to suddenly view those neighbors with a much warmer outlook. Now, when I next see them, they won’t seem to me so alarmingly other. (I may still seem so to them, but genuine warmth from within me can only help.)

I could see that this general concept applied to all sorts of other contexts, too. It seems to me that overall, most people are trying to do what they think is right.

Especially on the most polarized and conflict-generating issues (which would not be such problems if they had answers that were simple and obvious to everyone!), this principle seems to very likely apply—and to even form an essential building block for bridges of connection, communication, and cooperation.

This is the point to grasp: the people on the other side of a political debate are real people too with the same basic needs underneath. They just have been taught a different way of getting there—a different set of values, strategies, and beliefs.

So let us seek to understand, instead of vilify, each other. Let us seek to meet on the common ground of our basic desires and fears, and only then discuss our differing perspectives and strategies. Let us build bridges.

That’s my own aim, anyway, now more strongly than ever.

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I worked these thoughts into a Serenity Splash poem earlier this week:

People who hold an opposite view
politically from yours
aren’t evil, of course. They’re people too,
with the same needs at their cores:

to feel safe, to protect their young,
and to have the means to live.
It’s just a different route they’ve come.
Let us seek to build a bridge.

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Conversation with the AI chatbot

Me:

I have some neighbors (who are also relatives by marriage) who are “anti-vaxxers”—they don’t believe in vaccinations—to the point that they homeschool all their kids because they won’t comply with state board of education requirements for vaccinations. As far as I know, they aren’t in the Christian Science cult, though I think they are Christian and certainly far-right. As a left-leaning, educated person, I have a hard time understanding what they could possibly be thinking. I would like to have some grasp of their views in case I ever get a chance to build a bridge with them somehow (figuratively speaking). Can you help me fathom what is motivating their anti-vaccination mindset?

AI chatbot:

Yes—I can help with that. And I want to start by saying something important: your impulse to understand rather than simply dismiss is already the bridge. Most people with strong anti-vaccination beliefs do not experience themselves as ignorant or malicious; they experience themselves as protective, moral, and awake. Understanding that internal logic is key.

Below are the main psychological and cultural drivers that commonly motivate anti-vaccination views, especially among far-right, religious, or rural communities. Not all will apply to your neighbors—but several likely overlap.

1. Mistrust of Institutions (Not Just Science)

At the core is often deep institutional mistrust—not only of medicine, but of:

• Government

• Public schools

• Media

• Universities

• Pharmaceutical companies

Vaccines become symbolic of external control:

“The government telling me what to put in my child’s body.”

For people who already believe institutions are corrupt, captured by elites, or hostile to their values, vaccination mandates feel like coercion—not care.

💡 Key point: Their resistance is less about the science of vaccines and more about who is doing the telling.

2. Parental Identity: “I Protect My Children”

Many anti-vax parents are driven by a fierce sense of parental responsibility.

They often see themselves as:

• More attentive than “sheeple parents”

• Willing to do “real research”

• Courageous enough to go against the crowd

In that mindset, vaccinating can feel like betraying one’s child—while refusing feels like heroic protection.

This is emotionally powerful. Once someone’s identity is wrapped around “I’m the kind of parent who won’t poison my kids,” evidence that contradicts that belief feels like a personal attack.

3. Intuitive Risk Perception (Vivid vs. Abstract Harm)

Human brains are bad at comparing:

• Abstract statistical risk (disease prevalence, herd immunity)
  vs.

• Vivid anecdotal risk (a story about a child “damaged by vaccines”)

A single dramatic story—even if false or rare—feels more real than epidemiological data.

So they may think:

“I’ve never seen polio, but I’ve seen videos of kids harmed by vaccines.”

Emotion beats statistics every time unless trust is already present.

4. “Natural Is Moral” Thinking

Many anti-vax beliefs are rooted in a worldview where:

• “Natural” = good, pure, God-designed

• “Artificial” = corrupt, dangerous, human-tampered

Vaccines can feel like:

• Interfering with God’s design

• Weakening the immune system

• Replacing “natural immunity”

This overlaps easily with religious belief even without being formally theological.

5. Reactance: Resistance to Being Told What to Do

Psychologically, this is called reactance—the instinct to resist when autonomy feels threatened.

Mandates often backfire because they trigger:

• “You can’t make me.”

• “If you’re forcing it, you must be hiding something.”

For people with strong independence values (common in rural and far-right cultures), coercion validates suspicion.

6. Community Reinforcement and Echo Chambers

Once someone enters an anti-vax social world:

• They hear constant reinforcement

• Dissenting voices are framed as corrupt or brainwashed

• Belief becomes social belonging

Homeschooling often intensifies this, because:

• Children aren’t exposed to alternative narratives

• Parents bond with like-minded families

• Outsiders feel increasingly unsafe or untrustworthy

At that point, changing views isn’t just about facts—it risks social exile.

7. Far-Right Ideology: Sovereignty and Suspicion

In far-right frameworks, vaccination often intersects with beliefs about:

• Government overreach

• Globalist conspiracies

• Loss of national or bodily sovereignty

Vaccines can be framed as:

• Population control

• Profit-driven harm

• A slippery slope toward tyranny

Again: this isn’t usually felt as paranoia—it’s felt as vigilance.

8. Why Arguments Rarely Work

From their perspective:

• Pro-vaccine people are naïve or manipulated

• Experts are bought

• Dissent is censored

So more data often strengthens their position, because it confirms:

“See? They’re pushing the narrative.”

9. What Does Build Bridges

If you ever want to engage gently, these approaches tend to help more than facts:

• Start with shared values
  “We both care deeply about kids’ safety.”

• Ask curiosity-based questions
  “What first made you start questioning vaccines?”

• Avoid language of superiority
  (No “educated vs. ignorant” framing—even implicitly.)

• Acknowledge uncertainty honestly
  “Medicine isn’t perfect—but I’m curious how you weigh risks.”

• Separate people from beliefs
  Respect the person even if the belief is flawed.

You don’t have to agree—or even debate. Often, being the first non-hostile outsider is already meaningful.

A Final Reframe

From the inside, many anti-vaxxers are not anti-science villains. They are people trying—often imperfectly—to:

• Protect their children

• Maintain autonomy

• Preserve moral order

• Resist systems they distrust

That doesn’t make them right.
But it does make them human.

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