Recently I had a big perspective shift about my relationships with my kids and pets. I realized, for the first time, that they love me—I am an object of affection for them beyond just what I do for them. That is to say, they like me—even despite my flaws, imperfections, and (perceived) failures, and including all my quirks.
I guess I just didn’t grasp this before. I didn’t see myself as loveable in that way. I was too focused on my perceived failures, too wrapped up in my harsh internal narratives.
Now, I am glimpsing this outside-in view of myself in a positive light, and it feels like healing.
I can see myself now as their “Mommy Anna” (which phrase originally came from my mom, I think, and I’m glad for it). It’s like a persona I didn’t realize I had, but it actually is really me—and that persona is someone I respect and want to be even more.
When I think of myself in this way as their “Mommy Anna”—who is gentle, sweet, nurturing, smart, and doing her best to take care of them all (and whom they love and like even when they don’t appreciate her particular decisions in a given moment)—I want to inhabit that persona even more. I want to be worthy of their love and affection.
From all this I generalize that it can be a powerfully helpful thing to perceive, and lean into, a positive outside-in image of ourselves and our roles in others’ lives.
Perhaps you are, without fully realizing it, a “Guru Auntie,” “Encourager Friend,” “Hero Trailblazer,” “Memories Holder,” or some other loveable role in your life and the lives of others around you.
(I am thinking of specific ones of you for each of those examples, btw! You know who you are…I hope!)
In short: our harsh inner narratives can hold us back from seeing the beauty that others see in us.
May you be graced with eyes to see your beauty and loveableness. 💜
Sunday Springs
Section posts from the past week
🎵Song Stream
☔️Parenting Puddles
🪷Serenity Splashes
A litany for women and other high-achievers
Push your boundaries, not your body. Raise your standards, not your scope. Stretch your liberty, not your limits. Learn to claim, not to cope.
Uncertainty can make you scared.
Certainty can make you scary.Uncertainty is bravery
facing hard questions.
Certainty is fear
dressed up as answers.Uncertainty lets truth steer,
even if it goes off road.
Certainty just lets fear drive,
even if it runs over creatures in its path.
The grief that you carry is yours to bear-- and the ache of aloneness you feel-- but so is the light that is only yours and the power you solely can wield.
@wordyrobin You are obviously “Encourager Friend”! (I’m saying it here so you don’t have to!) 💕