Recently I had a big perspective shift about my relationships with my kids and pets. I realized, for the first time, that they love meāI am an object of affection for them beyond just what I do for them. That is to say, they like meāeven despite my flaws, imperfections, and (perceived) failures, and including all my quirks.
I guess I just didnāt grasp this before. I didnāt see myself as loveable in that way. I was too focused on my perceived failures, too wrapped up in my harsh internal narratives.
Now, I am glimpsing this outside-in view of myself in a positive light, and it feels like healing.
I can see myself now as their āMommy Annaā (which phrase originally came from my mom, I think, and Iām glad for it). Itās like a persona I didnāt realize I had, but it actually is really meāand that persona is someone I respect and want to be even more.
When I think of myself in this way as their āMommy Annaāāwho is gentle, sweet, nurturing, smart, and doing her best to take care of them all (and whom they love and like even when they donāt appreciate her particular decisions in a given moment)āI want to inhabit that persona even more. I want to be worthy of their love and affection.
From all this I generalize that it can be a powerfully helpful thing to perceive, and lean into, a positive outside-in image of ourselves and our roles in othersā lives.
Perhaps you are, without fully realizing it, a āGuru Auntie,ā āEncourager Friend,ā āHero Trailblazer,ā āMemories Holder,ā or some other loveable role in your life and the lives of others around you.
(I am thinking of specific ones of you for each of those examples, btw! You know who you areā¦I hope!)
In short: our harsh inner narratives can hold us back from seeing the beauty that others see in us.
May you be graced with eyes to see your beauty and loveableness. š
Sunday Springs
Section posts from the past week
šµSong Stream
āļøParenting Puddles
šŖ·Serenity Splashes
A litany for women and other high-achievers
Push your boundaries, not your body. Raise your standards, not your scope. Stretch your liberty, not your limits. Learn to claim, not to cope.
Uncertainty can make you scared.
Certainty can make you scary.Uncertainty is bravery
facing hard questions.
Certainty is fear
dressed up as answers.Uncertainty lets truth steer,
even if it goes off road.
Certainty just lets fear drive,
even if it runs over creatures in its path.
The grief that you carry is yours to bear-- and the ache of aloneness you feel-- but so is the light that is only yours and the power you solely can wield.
@wordyrobin You are obviously āEncourager Friendā! (Iām saying it here so you donāt have to!) š