It's pretty amazing the things we learn about ourselves that, in retrospect, seem obvious. For example, you remember how I tend to talk A LOT? I was recently reading about internal vs. external processing, and a light clicked on: I'm definitely an external processor. I talk through my thoughts and feelings out loud rather than think about them and reach a conclusion before speaking. That's a better label than "talks too much" or "overly chatty," and makes it a lot easier to own that, adjust when appropriate, and not feel shame about it.
So I can totally relate to your excitement about receiving an official diagnosis. When we can name and understand these things, they're much easier to accept and manage. What an awesome step on your personal journey!
I’ve heard those terms too and had a similar reaction: “Oh! I’m an internal processor!” It does help so much to have those two categories to help us understand the ways other people are different from us and we’re different from them. Especially given our shame-heavy upbringings (at least mine)—it helps to see that it’s not that we’re bad and other people are good. We’re just different and it’s okay!
I’m extra glad now that you brought up those terms, Josh, because they’ve been helping me relate better to my daughter who is very much an external processor (while her twin, who’s a lot like me, is an internal processor). This lens helps me understand why she wants to show me every video she likes, etc. So, thank you!
So glad I could be helpful! It always fascinates me how different twins can be. My mom and aunt are twins and even though some people still can't tell them apart by looks (they're in their 60s) they have very different personalities.
Yes it has always fascinated me too, even before I had twins! And mine are quite different indeed. They are fraternal twins though. But in some ways it’s been like an informal science experiment—given the same conditions, one acts one way and the other acts another way.
It's pretty amazing the things we learn about ourselves that, in retrospect, seem obvious. For example, you remember how I tend to talk A LOT? I was recently reading about internal vs. external processing, and a light clicked on: I'm definitely an external processor. I talk through my thoughts and feelings out loud rather than think about them and reach a conclusion before speaking. That's a better label than "talks too much" or "overly chatty," and makes it a lot easier to own that, adjust when appropriate, and not feel shame about it.
So I can totally relate to your excitement about receiving an official diagnosis. When we can name and understand these things, they're much easier to accept and manage. What an awesome step on your personal journey!
I’ve heard those terms too and had a similar reaction: “Oh! I’m an internal processor!” It does help so much to have those two categories to help us understand the ways other people are different from us and we’re different from them. Especially given our shame-heavy upbringings (at least mine)—it helps to see that it’s not that we’re bad and other people are good. We’re just different and it’s okay!
I’m extra glad now that you brought up those terms, Josh, because they’ve been helping me relate better to my daughter who is very much an external processor (while her twin, who’s a lot like me, is an internal processor). This lens helps me understand why she wants to show me every video she likes, etc. So, thank you!
So glad I could be helpful! It always fascinates me how different twins can be. My mom and aunt are twins and even though some people still can't tell them apart by looks (they're in their 60s) they have very different personalities.
Yes it has always fascinated me too, even before I had twins! And mine are quite different indeed. They are fraternal twins though. But in some ways it’s been like an informal science experiment—given the same conditions, one acts one way and the other acts another way.
I wrote and posted this essay yesterday before hearing about RFKJr’s remarks about autism. OMG. I love this pediatrician’s response:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIj1JYkSRTP/?igsh=YW42ZGJuZDk3Yzlu