This is my latest invented mantra: “Let the discombobulations happen.”
When I’m in a stressy moment of trying to accomplish something and I keep encountering frustrations, this mantra helps.
For example, if I’m driving and I keep encountering various obstacles, or if I’m looking for something and I keep dropping or spilling things, and I notice I’m getting quite stressed and frustrated—there’s a sense of relief when I say to myself, “let the discombobulations happen.”
In other words: stop trying so hard to control the situation. Accept that this moment is just messy and chaotic. Let the discombobulations happen.
This helps me take a breath and feel a sense of relaxing, like letting my shoulders drop the weight they’ve been trying to hold up.
And then, ironically, the discombobulations tend to ease! I presume this is because I can then think better and also tolerate more, being in a calmer state of mind.
A friend told me a story of when she was in hospital and on a medication that gave her tremors. She tried to drink some tea, but her hands were shaking so badly that she kept spilling it. With practice, she realized that if she tried less hard to control her muscles, the shaking would ease enough for her to successfully drink the tea.
This strikes me as exactly analogous to the dynamic I’m noticing. To simplify:
Trying hard & straining to control —> more mess, frustration, & struggle.
Loosening the grip & accepting the mess —> more ease, calm, & functionality.
✨
I still have a lot of room for practicing this. For example, most mornings getting us all out the door for school and work, I tend to feel so overwhelmed that I can’t think enough to even notice my feelings, much less to remember “Let the discombobulations happen.” But I will keep trying. My guess is that the more I practice this, even in calmer moments, the more accessible it will be in the harder moments.
May your day be mercifully free of discombobulations…but if not, let them happen. 🪷
River Roundup
Section posts since last time
🖋️Writer’s Waters
“You are the one whose life this is; so when it comes to what you do and make, you are the only one whose opinion ultimately matters.”
🌀 Divergence Deeps
“[Joy is] just about my nervous system and my experience in the moment. It doesn’t have to have any sense of correlation to stories of how I’m doing, which are just stories anyway.”
🪷Serenity Splashes
recent reflections upon encountering old photo albums
The me in my head was awkward, odd, inferior to others, and a wretch to God. Now when I look at those photos, I see someone loveable who was me.
a reminder
The river does not ask the sky, "Am I good enough?" It simply flows along its course, sometimes mighty, sometimes low, but always it is something true and wondrous-- as are you.
a poem from my healing journey
"I'm sorry" were the words my lips learned like my own name. "I'm sorry, God, I let you down. I'm trash but for your grace." Now, years (and tears) away, my partner frowns and says, "For what?" when those words fall from my lips-- and I recall: I'm worthy of love.
reflections on feeling dormant
Don't worry, dear maple-- although the leaves you've held onto are dropping now, and you feel bare and barren-- you are not dying out. Those leaves must drop, so, when it's time, new, fresher ones can grow. It's nature's way: we wake and sleep; we're fruitful, then fallow.
on daring to be authentic
Hero, make haste to jettison normalcy. No time to waste on social conformity-- you've got great things to learn and accomplish, so unfold your wings-- be different and dauntless.