I’ve been newly coming to understand that I need a lot of downtime in order to be well.
By “downtime” I mean solitary time without external pressures when I can gather my wits, move about freely, tend to my body’s needs, get my essential belongings organized, and generally see how I’m feeling, see what I need and want, and so on.
I’m coming to see “downtime” like this as an essential, basic human need. Perhaps that is obvious to you...but I didn’t realize it until recently!
I feel like I spent the majority of my growing up years, especially my adolescence, in acute survival mode just from not getting enough downtime. I thought that was just normal, what life was like for everyone.
I don’t know about everyone else, but increasingly I gather that neurodivergent people need a lot more downtime than neurotypical people.
That model helps to explain my experience—why I have been so slow to understand that 1) I need a lot of downtime in order to feel well, and 2) it’s okay and essential to avail myself of downtime as much as I can.
Without enough downtime, I live in burnout, frustration, stress, strain, and survival mode/sense of crisis.
But when I get some solid downtime, I can return to a sense of true inner choosing, of being able to capably consent or not consent to things, and to being truly present—with myself and with others, most crucially my kids.
Downtime is thus critical for my mental health, physical health, and relational health.
May I get some soon—and may you get some too!