My old, heavy coat of shame and stress

It doesn’t take much—
a gray day, poor sleep,
a few thoughtless words from someone,
or no reason at all—
and before I know it, I’ve slipped
back into my heavy mantle of old—
the coat of shame and stress
that weighs me down and keeps
me feeling that everything
is my fault and my responsibility
to fix.
I won’t realize it for a while;
I’ll just find myself feeling weak
and overheated
and like everything is too hard.

But oh, the sweet relief when at last,
again, I understand the problem
is just that old hair shirt again,
and all I have to do is take it off.

“Life is bigger than me;
I don’t control it;
I’m doing my best,
and that is enough.”

With these words, I cast off that old coat
and bask in the coolness
of space
and grace.